Rock Lee gets a make over!
by DeathsEnd
Summary: Sakura is bored! Maybe Rock lee can help her? M just in case
1. Chapter 1

Hey everybody! I have been reading so many fan fictions with Sakura constantly pushing Rock Lee away because his awful haircut! I mean it is bad, but I have finally decided to do something about it!! Heheheheh!!

Sakura stared out of the window, she was bored. Ever since Sasuke had come back after killing his brother AND Orochimaru, the list of things to do had gone down. She was no longer able to walk out of Konoha and just pound out all her frustrations on bad guys, (and the crap outa them!) When Sasuke had returned, he had come back looking even hotter, and she realized that she still loved him. Sakura herself had changed, instead of being a stick, she now had long legs that went on for ever, hips that drove men wild and a rack that made 'em drool! Her flowing pink hair was still short, but its colour seemed to have got brighter, and her eyes resembled a sleek cats'. However, all that and she still loved Uchiha.

Suddenly a scroll came and hit her on the head. "Damn owls! Today is Sunday!" She opened it.

_Kakashi and Gai senses team meet at the bridge_

_4:00_

Sakura looked at the clock, "aaah" she screeched, it was 4! She jumped out the window and ran. "Stupid buggering Owl, it couldn't have arrived five minutes earlier? Did they not have another Owl? What? They can spare enough to send Potter about 100 fast Owls, but not one for me?"

She arrived at the bridge panting. The rest were already there, "aaah…..I got lost on the road of life? Hehe"

"Oh my beloved Cherry blossom, take with with you next time…I beg of you" Shouted Lee.

"Oi bushy brows, she doesn't like you, get that through your head" yelled Naruto shaking his fist. Lee's chest puffed up, but suddenly he saw something, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" he squealed "snaaaaaaaaaaake"

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Lee, stop screaming its harmless" said Sakura Lee scratched his head, "umm Sakura, that wasn't me, it was Neji"

Everybody stopped and stared at Neji. "What?" he said, "They give me the heebie jeebies"

"Sakura please go out with me……….please" Lee begged.

Sakura sighed, "oh alright, I'm so bored anyway, but on one condition."

"Yes, yes, anything" Lee cried, tears of joys streaming down his face.

Sakura gave an evil laugh, she grabbed Lees arm and dragged him of to her house calling over her shoulder; "We will be back soon, just wait here okay, it's not like Kakashi sensei will mind!" She sped him to her house and up into her bedroom. Sakura threw him into a wheelie chair and rummaged around under her bed for a box, she came up opened it and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, Rock Lees eyes pooped, "s-s-s-Sakura wha-t". She shushed him and cuffed him down, and then she got out a pair of scissors. Snip snip. Lee's eyes widened in horror, "no, no, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

"Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahah"

_Meanwhile………………………….._

Sasuke paced up and down the bridge, while Neji and Tenten watched. "He could be tying her up and having his wicked way with her, he could be making her _feel_ his hair shudder and smooth down his eyebrows shudder shudder" cried Naruto (he was quite beside himself, and it wasn't helping Sasuke)

_Inside Sasuke's teenie weenie peni-brain (woopsie)_

_Inside the deep dark peni-mind of Sasuke Uchiha, things were wiggling around wanting to make babi-I mean wanting to make Sasuke see the truth: HE was JELEOUS, his wonderfully genius brain realized that this meant he must have feeling for Le-Sakura (oops) This meant… he wanted to have wild passionate raw sex with her. And that he loved her. All he could see was pink hair-wait there she was, and who was THAT?_

There was Sakura, holding the hand of a HOT guy. "Wow! That is a some hot piece of ass Sakura" yelled Tenten, Neji glared at her, she shruuged. "So you like what I have done with him?" asked Sakura, "Well actually I meant you, but yeah" she replied, Neji glared. Tenten sighed; "Look Neji, the whole glaring thing isn't really working I mean Its hard tell if your actually glaring or not, I think you should get some Irises, not having them must be doing something to your social life!."

"Everybody" announced Sakura, "I would like you to meet ROCK LEE!" About a thousands fan girls ran up to Lee screaming.

Sakura sighed, "I am a genius" Sasuke was furious he walked up to Sakura and………………………………..

And that is the end of this chapter!! U like? question-my friend has just been really wierd, she wants me to write a lemon in this strory! So...who shall it be with?

hehehehehe!!


	2. Wax or Pluck?

Hehehehehe!! Thank you for reviewing! Sorry about the punctuation! Okay-Neji is jealous that Tenten likes someone, that is why he was glaring!

In this chapter boys and girls, I am going to show the tragically terrible horrors that Rock Lee was forced to endure by his one true love! (Not to mention what the improved Lee looks like-and his Gai sensei's reaction? Oh no!)

Sakura sighed, "I am a genius" Sasuke was furious he walked up to Sakura and………………………………..

Naruto yelled; "**What have you done to bushy brows?? He's, he's, he's not bushy brows anymore, what the hell do I call him????"**

"Have you tried 'Lee'?" Tenten asked dryly, raising a pencil thin eyebrow. _'Hey I wonder what she did to those bushes plastered to his forehead.'_

"Now, I bet you're all wondering just what I did to Lee? Well I'll tell you…………………….

Flashback

Back, way back to when lee was chained to the chair.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Beloved goddess you can not do this to me, I will be ruined, My hair represents how I am inside, the real me"

"Ugly and shaped like a bowl?" Another pencil thin eyebrow was raised.

"Ugly? Ugly? This hair is a masterpiece, Gai sensei did it personally, he said I must shape myself into the true likeness of greatness."

"So basically he just wanted a weird freaky little man to worship him like a God? That's understandable, I must say Lee," Sakura Mused waving a lethal pair of miniature scissors around, "I never really understood your sensei with all his talk of youthfulness, it's nice to know that he is a normal person"

"Normal person? But you just said he wanted to be a God" Lee looked at the scissors, _it reminded him of a time with Gai sensei when he was strapped down to a table and Gai sensei was touch-erhem fixing his bandage._ He shook his head, No these scissors were death itself, he would rather die then have his beloved hair cut.

_Snip_

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo………"

"Of course, Gods want to be worshiped and rule the world, they want power and domination and smacking and whippings wink wink, I mean look at Snaky bastard, he's always plotting with his medic Kabuto-I bet that's not all their doing! Then Kakashi sensei."

_snip_

"Noooooooooooooooo…. Kakashi sensei? But he doesn't want power and domination."

"No, but he wants smackings and whippings, and he's not the only one!"

"What! No sensei would want that, it is just plain cruel"

"Not if the people want it!"

"WHAT? How can you want to be whipped and smacked?"

_Silence_

_Snip_

"N-Hey I kinda like this!"

"Duh! I did it, now for the brows."

"Yea- WHAAAAT??? NO DON'T TOUCH WITH THOSE THINGIES"

"Oh come on they're only tweezers! They don't bite. Only pluck! Look we can either pluck or wax, it's your choice!?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-_smack"_

"Buzz light-year star command. Do you read me star command? We have a situation. Star command? This is 411. Do you read me? The green alien seems to be still. It is staring at me funny. Aaaaaah the sunlight, it burns beww beww, peow!"

stare

Chuckles nervously "Sorry about that Lee, I think the pressure got to me."

Lee nods understandingly, "Don't worry Sakura I love you, I always-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, THE PAIN THE PAIN, MY EYES THEY BURN, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Mwhahahahahahahaha!! Let's see how you love me now spandy boy! That my green bellied friend was called wax, and as a women I experience that on a weekly bases (sometimes twice). The pain of being pretty! sighs I think that's why I didn't feel anything when pandy-boy tried to crush me to death. Woah does that boy have issues, I mean not only has he got a temper, but the whole 'eyebrowless' thing must hurt a lot. You know it's funny how you have like, waaaaaay too much eyebrow and he has none. Maybe it was sanded off?..."

Um, ok, that's it for now! How was it? I will continue with the makeover thingie next episode!! Heheheh! Any suggestions?


	3. I'm 14 and a 12

"Mwhahahahahahahaha!! Let's see how you love me now spandy boy! That my green bellied friend was called wax, and as a women I experience that on a weekly bases (sometimes twice). The pain of being pretty! sighs I think that's why I didn't feel anything when pandy-boy tried to crush me to death. Woah does that boy have issues, I mean not only has he got a temper, but the whole 'eyebrowless' thing must hurt a lot. You know it's funny how you have like, waaaaaay too much eyebrow and he has none. Maybe it was sanded off?..."

Continue

"Any way Lee, I don't see why you hang out with him, I mean look at his brother, what's with the cat suit, Its not like cat women is even gonna look twice at him! He's probably some kind of pervert-I bet he has a vibrater up his butt, and the cat suit makes it stay there. Sooo…………………..moving onto the clothes…………………….."

"My clothes represent youthfulness and nature working together as one, in perfect harmouny, like yin and yang-"

"So basically you just copied Gai-sensei's? And you do realise that all that green spandex is probably killing nature, I bet all the wild beasts and animals take one look at you then run away screaming FREAK, maybe you can wear it for holloween, or pretending to be grass, but next time you touch the spandex spandy boy, I'll cut something off-and it won't be your hair."

Gulp

"Sakura, please, you acting unlike the sweet kind, gentle person that I know you are, what has happened?"

"Honestly Lee, I'm perfectly normal whispers into ear device code red, I repeat code red, move out, we must get the bomb out of the anus, I repeat we must remove the bomb from the anus,I will send in my best fighters to invisible peoples me, you are about to embark on a dangerous mission where there is a big chance you will die, now remember-if you are dying, do not come ba-and ladies and gentlemen we are back with today's news-

"Sakura, SAAAAKUUUURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Hehehe, sorry about that Lee, it happens sometimes, my mommy says I'm special, any way, STRIP"

Pause

"Now! If you don't I will have to use something Men all over the world fear"

"Sakura, I am fearless, I will not be intimidated by anyone, the great lee will be brave strong, proud-"

"This is my friend Brian-He's gay"

Zwip

"I thought that might work, now put these on, I borrowed them from saskue-kun, have you seen that boys wardrobe, I mean If it weren't for the fact that I've seen with my own eyes his 'manly maness' I would have thought he was a girl, I mean have you seen his hair, that chicken hair definitely ain't natural, you know I actually think he thinks it's cool, or maybe it's because he thinks we think he thinks he knows we know he knows how cool his hair looks"

Confused

"Anyway, Brian was telling me how he really wants to see if sasi-kun is really 11 inches"

"HES 11 INCHES?? mutters damn, I need to do more weights, eat more spinach maybe even stretch my weenie a bit, I must be Sasuke, that way I can prove how big my love is! (wink wink-poor Lee)

"**WHAAAAAAAAAT??" Yelled sasuke**

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??" yelled Naruto?

"high girlie voiceYou discussed, my manliness with another man? clears throat how could you? And with Lee?"

"Sasuke 11 inches? Damn I need to eat more ramen, maybe miso ramen or beef ramen, or spinach ramen pause nevermind. 11 inches?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"I wanted to get a bit bigger before I told anyone Sakura, you know that, at my age Itachi's was bigger then mine, his was 13 inches……what? What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"Sasuke, how would you know how big your brother sausage was? Do you wannna share anything? You know what they say-sharing is caring" – Sakura

"The only thing I care about is Itachi-I mean screwing him into oblivion awkward pause what? Why are you looking at me like that again? I just wanna kill him so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, I lay awake thinking about it, when I'm fighting, or eating, all I think about is him, you guys wouldn't understand"

Neji- "Yes, you are right we wouldn't, you are just small, I am 14 inches and a ½"

Awkward silence

"hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha-You're hahah tellin' me hehe that ha the he great ice frosted cubodic cubular cube of the greates iciest cubies in the worl actually got a ruler and measured himself? Hahahahaha"

"No"

"Oh"

"My Dad did"


	4. You slept with Sakura?

"hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha-You're hahah tellin' me hehe that ha the he great ice frosted cubodic cubular cube of the greatest iciest cubies in the world actually got a ruler and measured himself? Hahahahaha"

"No"

"Oh"

"My Dad did"

Neji: Is there something you need to tell us Sasuke, we will still be you friend no matter what happens, through sickness and health, for better or-

_Slap_

Tenten:You don't love me_ wail _it's so blatant, why did I not see it before? You distant good looks, your offhand remarks, you never paid any attention to me, I now know why. I mean it shoulda been obvious when you never looked at any porn or naked women. Oh God Neji—

Neji: _yells_ are you saying that because I will not lower myself to look at porn I'm gay?? Fine I will look at porn.

_Wail moan wail_

Tenten: Oh my God Neji you look at porn!! How degrading, do you know that really offends me?? I will never talk to again.

_Runs off wailing _

Neji: Tenten wait-

_Runs after her_

Sakura:whoa, all that from the size off weenies

Naruto: Hey Sasuke, did you dad really measure you weenie?

Sasuke: Of course, why do you think I was so upset? That's one of the reason Itachi killed everyone.

Uhm…………

Sasuke: You know. Coz' my dad only had time to measure one off us, so my mum had to measure my brothers.

Naruto: And that was because…………..?

Sasuke: Well for some reason mum always use to moan and wiggle for some reason.

_Silence _

Light bulb goes on somewhere.

Sakura: hey, sasi, do you know why you mother twitched……..you know………………why she really twitched….?

Sasuke: Of course

_Relieved sigh_

Sasuke: She had mental problems.

_Crap_

Sakura: Didn't anyone tell you about…you know…loving other people?

Sasuke: My dad of course. He said don't do it.

Sakura: But what about when you go older, didn't anyone ever tell you anything about a loving happy relationship.

Sasuke: Everyone was dead

_Awkward pause._

Sakura: Er...well….how about you come over to my place later and I'll...umm…explain everything in detail?

Sasuke: Hn

Sakura: Great. Come around seven.

Naruto: what about me?

Sakura: Sorry I don't do threesomes, and you Ramen will get cold.

Naruto: mmmmmm…..Ramen, she waits for me forever.

Sakura: You know Naruto, I'm surprised you aren't damaged permanently; don't you eat anything but ramen? Actually, as a medic-nin I'm going to have to say, that you are not aloud to eat any more Ramen for the sake of you physical and mental health.

Naruto: No-no-no R-r-r-r-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-n-n-no-o-o-o-r-r-r-r-r-r-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sasuke: Oh shut up dobe

Naruto: _sticks his tongue out_ well how would you like it if your lifeline was suddenly taken away from you hmm?? In fact you probably don't have a life_-evil grin-_oh wait. You do. Mwhahahahahahahhahha. I will revenge you my ramen.

Sasuke: Err…I wasn't the one who took it away from you…..and anyway, I don't have a 'lifeline'.

Naruto: hehehehe hahahahah hehehehe haha.

_Slap_

Sakura: My God he's lost it!

Naruto: Oh yes you do Sasuke. Tomatoes. Yes my precious, he likes them, we shall gets he we shall. Down wiv ze hobbit. Tricks them we shall. _Snicker snicker snicker_

_Pause._

Sasuke: How did you find out about that?? It was a secret, nobody should know, for that you will die.

Naruto: Er Sasuke, you basically only eat tomato soup. Anyway, that's not the reason you going to kill me, duh, even I know your going to kill me so you can get the new type of Sharingan: The way to dark and good lookin' sexy little bad boy type of sharingan.

_Pause. eh?_

Sakura: It's called Mangekyo sharingan or something stupid like that, you know something how the hell are we suppose to pronounce crap like that? I mean it's the same with the bloody jutsus, I would be way ahead of you guys except I can't actually say the words!! Hahahaha, I just make them up. _Thoughtfully to herself-_I think that's why Naruto peanuts are so nutless!

Naruto: WHAT?? Is that why I can't make babies?? I mean I've tried so many times and nothing has happened. This is why?? THIS MEANS NO ONE WILL EXPERIENCE THE JOYS OF NARUTO UZUMAKI!!

Sakura: Who exactly are you doing it with?.

Naruto: You!

Sasuke: What?? Sakura how could you?? I thought you were still pure as the driven snow after somebody backed a oil truck through it?

_Sweat drop_

Sakura: Naruto…..trust me, if I had been sleeping with you I would have known it. So It obviously wasn't the real me.

Naruto: Of course it wasn't. It was a picture I found with Lee, he let me borrow it for a while. You know as friends. I have been trying to make you pregnant for ages, but the stalk never brought me a bubble-gum eyed green haired baby.

_Eh?_

Sakura: That doesn't work any more Naruto. And if you shout one more time, I will castrate you. Comprende?

_Nod Nod_

Sakura: I don't see why you're nodding Sasuke-you'd never shout even if a weird alien mutant freak started fondling you.

Sasuke: Actually I did.

Pause

Sasuke: Then it was okay. It was only my brother.

Sakura: Oh that's o-_eh?_


	5. Ramen Ravings and Butts

Hey, sorry for the long wait, I had loads of revision, I still do but…you know…it bores me.

Anyway I'm changing the format from script back to the normal version-it was a request! Thank you for all the reviews; I can't believe people actually like my story! 

So, enough talk, on with the story: warning-it may be crap. 

Sakura: I don't see why you're nodding Sasuke-you'd never shout even if a weird alien mutant freak started fondling you.

Sasuke: Actually I did.

_Pause_

Sasuke: Then it was okay. It was only my brother.

Sakura: Oh that's o-_eh?_

"I know," Sasuke continued; "I couldn't believe that the great Uchiha Itachi was interested in me, but he was, and you know, if I didn't do what he said he would tell mom on me. He never could stand rejection." 

"I think I know why you didn't like those fan girls Sasuke" said Naruto.

"I mean they took all you ramen, ALL the ramen, mwhahahahahahahah, they must die, oh yes, die they shall, force the may with me be."

_Eh?_

"Naruto….I don't think Sasuke was talking about ramen…in fact when did he ever mention ramen?" Sakura questioned with a slightly cautious and worried look on her face.

"Zyion, Zyion, wyon,………capture you I shall. Implant seed of mine you into I will. Hahahahahahahahahahah. Zyion zyion. (Lightsaber sounds)

"Shut the hell up dobe. It is obvious that the fan girls are not after me for my ramen-I don't have any."

"You don't have any Ramen?? NOOOOOO" Naruto banged his head on the floor wailing and sobbing, crying in despair for something that he knew was the truth, yet it tore him apart to know that it was true. 

_Evil glare_

Naruto quivered in fear from Sasuke, who had his sharingan activated. 

Sasuke eyes went back to normal as soon as Naruto closed his fly trap: "Oh come on, it can't be that hard to see why they like me so much"

"Umm…Is it because of you money?" asked Sakura

"No"

"Ooh ooh ooh….It's your chicken hair"

"Oh my god Naruto! You think he has chicken hair to, I thought I was the only one, I mean you'd think with all his money he would actually pay for a proper hair-

_Evil glare_

Eh hehehe…what I mean to say was…um…your hair is special"

"Hahaha, good one Sakura" said Naruto, "his mommy probably said that too!"

_Death glare_

_Somebody starts choking._

"Okay okay, jeez Sasuke-kun..Naruto,..You got any ideas..?"

"Is it 'coz of your ass, I mean it is a niiiiice ass."

Sasuke smiled prettily; "Really? You don't think these shorts make my ass look fat? I mean answer me seriously. I have to look good"

"No way!" Naruto replied, "If anything it makes your ass look smaller"

"Really, you're not screwing with me? Because I can easily smash in your face"

"Jeez talk about weird" Sakura muttered, it was getting kinda irritating being ignored. Lee wouldn't do it. LEE.

In listening to Sasuke's problems about people fondling him without his knowledge incest being illegal in most countries, and Naruto's mad ravings about ramen she had forgotten about Lee. Hahahaha, plucking wasn' the only thing she did to him. 

_Flashback_

"Okay Lee" said Sakura. "Now that you look sexy with you nicely curved THIN eyebrows, your 'just out of bed' hair; light and fluffy-in spikes! You look like a sex god"

"Oh the youthfulness of me…Know I can show the youthful-

"SHUT UP, don't interrupt me you quack. Understand?"

"Y-y-yes Sakura chan"

"What did I say about interrupting?"

"But-"

"Squiggly"

"wha-"

"meow choo choo fwoosh"

?

"Hahahaha that shut you up quickly didn't it my pretty? Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-glares at a confused scared looking Lee- You may look like a God but you do NOT sounds or act like one. So I have created a plan. Mwhahahah, see how fast my genius brain is, a plan, a marvellous plan, I'd like to see that Potter come up with a better one!"

**Phase one.**

"Ok, so first thing you have to do is talk quieter, slower and make your voice deeper instead of a squawk. Got It?"

Manly Voice: "Yes Sakura chan?"

"No you idiot not like Barry white. More like Johnny Depp, god that man is sexy!"

Johnny Depp voice: " AS you wish my blossom"

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, oh my god it's Johnny Depp, my hair, my face I look ugly, oh my god I need a shave-"

High squeaky voice: "No Sakura chan it's me Rock Lee" puffs out chest.

"Oh" 

"Huh, I thought for a second that he had come to kidnap me and ravish me"

"Don't worry Sakura chan, I will stop him and save you!"

Glare, room darkens; funeral music.

"If you even think about stopping him, I will hunt you down and chop you liver up"

"My liver?"

"Yes, and I will feed it to my cat-Pussy"

Awkward pause.

"You cats called Pussy?"

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, no, of course not, _snicker snicker_."

"Anyway, I want you to stop treating people nicely, be a little mean to them, be strong, be confident, be brave, do not smile, laugh, or grin, do not look happy to see anyone, and above all, do not say any thing with the word 'youth' in it."

"But I need my yout-

"Nah ah ah, not even a peep of that word"

"So, basically you want me to be like Uchiha?"

"Yes!"

"If I do will you go out with me?"

"Mumble mumble mumble"

"Yay"

"Now you will be able to get some action!"

"I'm already getting action."

_Pause_

"With who?"

"My beloved Gai-sensei of course"

_Ew_

"We do everything together, we fight so good, and we are a team"

"Wait wait Lee, I'm not talking about fighting action, I'm talking about action with girls, didn't your beloved Gai-sensei ever tell you about that?"

"He said we must be Youthful together"

_Bam_

People wondered how lee could fly that day, they didn't think to ask the beautiful Sakura though. 

"I guess Sasuke, Naruto AND Lee will be coming to my place for a 'chat' tomorrow"


	6. Boobies

Rock Lee Makeover chapter 6

Heya, I have an apology to make, it is now December and I haven't updated my story, I am so sorry. So over this weekend I will try and get some chapter our okay? Anyway, on with the story, thanks a lot for all the review, it was because of them that I decided to carry on writing this series! I am really glad everyone is enjoying it, I plan to add lots more weirdos!! If you guys have any idea, drop a review and let me know!

Recap

"I'm already getting action."

_Pause_

"With who?"

"My beloved Gai-sensei of course"

_Ew_

"We do everything together, we fight so good, and we are a team"

"Wait wait Lee, I'm not talking about fighting action, I'm talking about action with girls, didn't your beloved Gai-sensei ever tell you about that?"

"He said we must be Youthful together"

_Bam_

People wondered how lee could fly that day, they didn't think to ask the beautiful Sakura though.

"I guess Sasuke, Naruto AND Lee will be coming to my place for a 'chat' tomorrow"

**End preview**

_(actions)_

**STORY START**

It was time for the talk, the one that every body dreaded getting from their parents...but Sakura was giving to the boys...unfortunatly...they were being a bit evasive...mwhahahah but not for long.

"ROCK LEE YOU BETTER MARCH YOUR ASS TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL SHAVE OFF THE REST OFF YOUR PRECIOUS EYEBROWS? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I WILL MAKE YOU LIKE THAT EYBROWLESS WEIRDO FROM SAND." Sakura shook her fist and ran after the screaming Lee.

"NOOOOOOOO I want my Gai-sensei, without him I will feel defiled, dirty, I will never see youthfulness again...waaaaaaaaaa, I need my Ga-gasp"

"S-s-sakura-chan, why is your-your top lifted up...and **What are those**???"

"I bet your Gai-sensei doesn't have a pair of these now does he hmm?"

"Sakura-chan-I think I have found the world of youth"

_Drool_

Mwhahahahah, now I have him.

"now Lee, if you want more of this...i want you, in my apartment, naked, right coz your my sex bomb sex bomb, your my sex bomb baby you just turn me off, mutters well actually with that ass, it's more like off but then we can't all have a fully equipped gym and pool with a complimentary man named Lars, oh god, those muscles just make me hot...and his compliments...woah, damn sasuke, why couldn't my parents have died and left me a fortune...but nooo...it had to be him-"

_Stare_

"Umm Sakura-chan..are you alright, I mean lately I've noticed that you've become slightly unstable-"

"Boobies"

"Yes Sir!"

"Lee, if you go get Sasuke and Naruto and drag them to my apartment...I'll give you all the boobies you will ever need, and more. But if you want weanies, you're gonna have to go some where else, although I suppose you could ask Kiba...or his dog...Lee? Lee?"

_Stares off into the distance_

"NOO, NOO ET, don't phone home, do you know how much long distant calls cost?? Do you?? I mean, unless you wanna pay me in some other way (_raises eyebrows suggestively)"_

_Stare_

"laughs nervously hahahah, I didn't mean that off course, I have standards. I'm a good Christian-I use condoms, I like cherry the best but apple is nice to...very fruity...ehehehhhaha...errmm well I'll be off then.

Beam me up Scottie"

Bzzzzzz

Sakura's house

The air was tense, the silence around them was creeping in, slowly suffocating it's helpless victims, Sasuke, sitting there holding onto Naruto in a death grip, looking around nervously, physco serial killers always went for the good looking ones, the helpless innocent ones who would be rape-WHAT THE FUCK??? WHO THE HELL IS WRITING THIS?? THE GREAT UCHIHA RAPED? HOLDING ONTO NARUTO? Why couldn't I hold on to Lee?"

_pouts pathetically_

"grrrrrrrrrr"

"w-what is that..? I am not afraid, for the sake of Sakura's boobies-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

Sasuke:

Grabs Lee in a Death grip, sharingan activated, glaring jealously

Naruto:

Grabs carrot and holds it close to Sasuke's ass

"Naruto...i understand the whole idea behind the carrot thing..really I do...but why are you HOLDING IT NEAR MY ASS??"

"chuckles nervously well...I thought it would be fun"

_Snicker __snicker_

"Alright you, you weirdo person in the creepiness, if you don't come out I am going to defile the rear end of konoha's most favoured prostitute _(Mutters)_ and by prostitute I mean Sasuke"

"HEEEEYYAA...what about Ino-kun?"

"SILENCE FOOLS"

_Huh? What fools?_

"YOU FOOLS"

"Who me? I'm a fox not a fool, and I don't think theres such thing as a fool fox, unless your talking about faux fox fur but even that's real, I mean they say fake but they really mean-"

"SILENCE"

"They really mean silence? I am le confused...I will run 1000 laps around konoha to prove-?"

"I SAID: _(jazz hands) (while singing)_ stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch"

_Wtf__ mate._

"My name is Mort."

"Volde mort. And I am Your sexual (_pelvic thrust_) Educator

_Oh my god_

_PERVERT ALERT_

End

Okay I'm sorry it was so bad, tommorows one will be better (I hope, I will be tlkin bout sex ed)

So please review what you think!

DeathsEnd


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